The Network: We Gave Piers Morgan Rabies

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This year has brought about many, many surprises – including the very recent return of the mysterious masked six-piece The Network. As well as unveiling their first new music since 2003 debut LP Money Money 2020, the band also hijacked the social media accounts of their longtime arch rivals Green Day… and, as of yesterday, they’ve even taken over Kerrang!, too.

In a world-exclusive first interview, The Network – Mongo Fink (vocals/guitar), Van Gough (bass/vocals), The Snoo (drums/vocals), Balducci (guitar), Captain Underpants (keytar) and Z (keyboards) – open up about the 17-year disappearance between their debut release and this year’s upcoming Money Money 2020 Part II: We Told Ya So!, detailing strange exploits involving British broadcaster and journalist Piers Morgan.

Read this: Who the hell are The Network?

Frontman Mongo Fink explains that, during The Network’s hiatus, he became a dingo racing jockey in Australia eight years ago, though was unfortunately bitten by one of the creatures. But it gave him an idea…

“I became a jockey for dingo racing in 2012,” he begins. “The winters in Australia are lovely and mild. I was bitten by my dingo and suffered from rabies for the next three years. I tried to spread the rabies by biting Piers Morgan on his rear end, and he beat me senselessly. I spent another six months in hospital where I wrote 117 songs while in a coma. It was worth giving Piers Morgan rabies.”

During this time, Mongo Fink had also taken a 10-year vow of silence immediately after “The Network’s unexplained disbandment”. Revealing the first words he spoke when the vow was over, he says: “The first thing I said was, ‘Kanye West will be President.’ I almost got it right. I tried to communicate through interpretive dance. No-one could understand what the hell I was dancing about for the next 10 years, but I was in fantastic shape.”

Read this week’s Kerrang! Cover Story for much more on The Network – including their beliefs that the earth is flat, being enemies with Green Day, and why they all actually hate each other…

Posted on December 3rd 2020, 11:31am

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